Rattlesnake Humor

Why won’t a rattlesnake bite a salesman?

Professional courtesy…….

What’s the difference between a dead rattlesnake on the road and
a dead lawyer on the road?
There are no skid-marks in front of the lawyer.

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries. “He says you’re gonna die.”

CATCH! (true story)
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. Big deal you may say, but there’s a twist here that makes him a candidate for the idiot award. It seems he and a friend were playing catch with a rattlesnake.

Rattlesnake eggs

A noise and vibration prank that works by making people think it contains hatched snakes. A small envelope is labeled “rattlesnake eggs.”

When they open the envelope it releases a wound-up rubber band and this in turn makes a bent paper clip rattle in the bag. It usually has them jumping out of their skin. (Of course rattlesnakes don’t lay eggs but nobody seems to know that.)

How can you revive a rattlesnake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!

How did the rattlesnakes bust out of jail?
They scaled the wall!